Last Week's Games: FTL

Well that week didn’t go quite as planned! The Pathfinder game I said I was going to run at the end of last week was cancelled, since one of the players – sadly the one who hosts the game – was taken ill and couldn’t host it. I wish him a speedy recovery and hopefully we’ll get back on it at some point next month, but it looks like I won’t be playing any more roleplaying games until then.

I didn’t have a huge amount of time for playing games either. I progressed a little further into the campaign in Spider Man, beating a double-pronged boss battle (I won’t spoil it if you haven’t played the game; if you have, you’ll know who I mean!) and as I mentioned last week, getting ever closer to the endgame.

Your starting ship...

No, the game I spent the largest amount of time playing this week was FTL: Faster Than Light on my laptop. This is among the first games I bought for the PC, way back in 2012 when I was using a Windows 7 laptop. I saw a review for it by Angry Joe and decided to check it out! The hardware on my laptop was by no means designed for playing games so my games were somewhat limited, but FTL will run on just about anything so for once it was an option for me.

And what a delight it was! If you don’t know, it’s a space game in which you have to transport vital information about the Rebel Fleet to The Federation. It’s interesting to see the Rebels being the enemy for a change, though the line between good and bad is somewhat blurred – the Federation purports to be a coalition of effort to colonize space between the various races of the galaxy, and the Rebels are made up almost entirely of humans trying to wipe out Federation control. Xenophobic and oppressive, one would think, but since the alien races that are meant to be a part of the Federation are every bit as likely to attack you, one might reasonably wonder if the Rebels have a point. It’s Firefly meets Star Trek in theme, and a joy to play.

You control the power allocation, action and various crew of a star ship, and have to play through several short tasks in order to traverse the galaxy and deliver your info. The layout and interface suggests a strategy game, but I have found it works as a Roleplaying game as well. Here’s your ship, here’s your crew, here’s what it can do, here’s the situation the game has put in front of you; what are you going to do about it?

Well that could have gone better!

But as I was playing through the game, I found myself wondering who it is for. I enjoy the game enough to recommend it to anybody with a pulse, but it’s not new; it was released in 2012 and games have, by their very nature, evolved since then. But seven years later, I’m still playing it, still discovering new things, still enjoying it. It was acclaimed at the time for it’s excellence in design, and it still holds up today. The graphics were nowhere near on par with what was available even at release, but the almost minimalist art style looks as good now as it did back then. The soundtrack is gorgeous, and the effects are lovely as well. The Rogue-like gameplay is designed for many runs, and while it takes a little too long to get to the endgame (I only ever managed it a couple of times before the major content update in 2014, and never since,) the sheer scale of things to do in between is staggering. No two runs are ever the same; there’s a lot of value in it.

So I would suggest that, if your principle experience of playing games is on console and mobile devices, and you’re wondering what PC games do so differently to make it a worthwhile investment, you could do a lot worse than try this game out. It will challenge you on the right level, and will keep on giving long after you’ve replaced the machine you play it on!

 

Backlog Beatdown: Watching Her Story with Her Story

Her Story is a game that came to my attention last year; a lot of the Youtube pundits I follow were giving it an intriguing amount of coverage. Not much – there’s not much you can do with this game on Youtube without spoiling it, and that defeats the whole objective of the game – but enough for it to remain on my radar long enough to buy it.

You’ll have heard some questions about it. Is it a game? Is it not a game? Is it an interactive movie? Is it good? Is it worth it? My answer is that while it comes within the broadest definition of the word “game,” it’s certainly an experience, and one that is well worth the five pounds I paid for it.

The premise is that you are looking through a series of videos from seven police interviews with the same woman in 1994. The videos have all been edited into clips that last anything between a few seconds and a couple of minutes, for evidence purposes. You use a search function to find key words in the videos to unlock them, and piece together the story they tell.

But have they???

But it’s not that simple. The videos are old, saved on an antiquated computer with very limited functionality. You type in a word to search for the videos, but however many matches the computer finds, it will only display the first five results. You have to refine your search, and search for more clues in the videos available. You can try to arrange the videos in the right order, but it’s a massive faff. The game starts off with the keyword “murder,” and displays four videos taken from different stages in the interview process. It sets up the idea that a man named Simon has been murdered, he has some connection to the woman in the videos, and she denies murdering him and shows confidence that the police have “nothing.” (None of this is a spoiler, as it’s the first thing you see in the game and most of this are shown on the game’s trailer.)  This demonstrates that all is not as it seems, and does a good job of hooking you in, but it’s up to you to dig deeper. You’re not going to get much help from the game after those first few videos.

I like that idea. I enjoy games that keep the tutorial separate from the game. Far too many games hold your hand for anything up to the first few hours, which makes starting one a rigmarole. I prefer being shown the core mechanics of the game, and after that I’m on my own, which engages me straight away.

Here's an interesting idea: A UI that's awful
but actually adds to the experience of the game.

The game is presented brilliantly. Viva Seifert, the actress who plays the woman, does a fine job; not always with the emotion one might expect but that adds to the character the game eventually builds. The film footage was recorded onto VHS before being digitised into the game, which does a fine job of representing the time period. The screen shows the glare you might expect from early 90s monitor, which adds to the immersion although there is the option to turn this off. Also you never hear the detective’s questions, only the answers, further increasing your need to fish for context.

I’ve seen a lot of coverage on more experimental games like this. There’s a whole debate about it that could potentially run into a whole book. If you’re going to make an unconventional game, you need two things:

1.      A strong core gameplay loop,

2.      A satisfying payoff.

Her Story certainly has the former, although it would have worn thin had the game lasted for any more than a few hours. Whether the payoff is satisfying is up to you; if you are engaged with the story and are keen to hear more, then you’ll probably enjoy the game. Without wishing to spoil it, I’ll say that the game saves one last surprise for you right until the end – an ‘Aha!’ moment, if you will. Not everyone will enjoy it but that was never the point. If you want a break from the latest online multiplayer game and are looking for a different experience, you could do far worse than this.

As a post-script, I’ll add that while this is not a game that you ‘beat’ in the usual sense, I did find all the videos. However, through looking on the steam forums I found a way to beat the game without even trying. I won’t tell you what, but there is a way you can access all the videos in the right order from the start. It’s not a ‘cheat;’ it fits in with the mechanics of the game and I was astounded that it hadn’t previously occurred to me, but it’s not exactly fair play either. I’d found 75% of the videos before I did this, (I know because I got the achievement for it,) but there were some videos that I’d never have found without this method because it’s keyword was so obscure it wouldn’t even have occurred to me to try it. Despite this, there was only one major plot point I found using this method. If you figure it out, you’ll probably have to do the same, but try to make this a last resort, rather than a way to get through the game.

Backlog Beatdown: Saving my Bacon with Hogs of War

So Ebay may very well become my downfall in managing my video game backlog. I’ve been ordering all sorts of titles mainly for the PS1, inspired by the game collector and Youtube star MetalJesusRocks. I’ve bought around 15 games so far and I’ve been having a tonne of fun with the ones I’ve played, most of which I’ve previously owned at some point and it’s leaving me in a nostalgic haze.

And what a delight it was to play Hogs of War again…

The idea was best summarised by the Playstation Magazine Demo Disc it appeared on: “Imagine Worms in 3D. Now put pigs where the worms should be, and…” It is a turn-based tactics game in which you control a squad of usually five pigs. They have a limited amount of time to move around and position themselves to attack the enemy, as almost all the attacks are done from a stationary position. The hogs have a certain amount of health each, which is drained with each attack it takes, and the last team standing is the winner.

I had War Pigs by Black Sabbath going round in my
head all the way through my playthrough of this.

Much of the strategy of the game comes from choosing where to put your pigs and deciding what weapon to use. The sniper rifle, for example, does as much damage as a direct hit from a bazooka, however it can only fire in a straight line and leaves you open to a follow-up attack if you don’t kill your enemy straight away and are in an awkward position. The bazooka has area-of-effect damage and can be fired over terrain, but requires you to ‘charge’ your attack to the appropriate amount of power you need for the shot; if you don’t get this right your accuracy will suffer and you’ll very likely miss your shot entirely. Deciding what to use, when to use it, and where to use it from is the key to getting through some of the harder levels of the game.

The game has a campaign mode, where it puts you in a linear series of 25 levels taking over the continent of Saustralasia. Your hogs are somewhat limited in what they can do at first, but you gain ‘medals’ throughout the game as rewards for completing levels and surviving, and you use these to upgrade your pigs. You can take them down a Heavy Weapons route, or Espionage, Engineering and Medic. You can choose them to suit your play style if you want, but you’ll find it much easier to have two of each (you start with a total of 8 hogs) and swap them in and out of your squad as you need to. A fourth promotion brings them up to Commando level, which specialises in all weapons, and the final level is Hero, who can use more or less all weapons and has a few special ones to work with as well.

The true strength of this game is its sense of humour. Your team of pigs is selected from one of 6 ‘Nations,’ very stereotypically based on the English, French, German, American, Russian and Japanese. They all make amusing and borderline-racist remarks when they make their attack in hilariously overblown accents. Plus the cut-scenes, usually “Training” videos, are funny in their uselessness. The whole thing is capped off by having many of the voice-overs done by the sadly-missed Rik Mayall, whose performance brings the cheesy lines and camp over-acting to life.

The game challenges me at the right level; it’s tough enough in places but the campaign took me around 15 hours to get all the way through and that’s quite enough for me. The AI sometimes makes some very strange decisions indeed, and the controls feel clunky – I suspect this was a quite deliberate design decision that adds to the feel of the game. After all, guns are hard enough to use at the best of times, never mind trying to do it with trotters!

I love this game; I regretted selling it years ago and I’ll certainly be hanging on to it for a good long while this time. Maybe I’m getting old, but I found myself thinking around half-way through my play-through that we just don’t get this kind of game in the mainstream these days. Turn-based strategy games are still something of a niche, and in a Triple-A release, the edgy dialogue would be focus-tested out of the game before you’d even got on to Rik Mayall’s booking agent. Plus, it’s fighting pigs; not relatable in any obvious way (though the game has a surprising amount to say about the futility of war!) and a ridiculous concept. You won’t see this on any Youtube advertisement, and if people still make games like this, then they are consigned to the depths of what is now called Indie Gaming. A bit sad, really.

*EDIT*

Chances are some of you may now be thinking: "Well, this seems pretty good, I'll give it a go." If you do, be advised the PC version of this has slightly better graphics and is inferior in all other respects. The main problem with it is that the enemy pigs don't move, they just stand and fire. This is not a bug but was deliberately coded into the game, and I'd like to find out why, because it should be coded out again with extreme force. It removes any challenge from the game and you're basically just playing a shooting gallery. Get it for the PlayStation, or the handhelds if you can.

Backlog Beatdown: Kicking Ass with One Finger Death Punch

Free from the constraints of No Game New Year, on New Years Day I downloaded One Finger Death Punch from Xbox Live. You may remember early last year, this was one of the games that tempted me away from NGNY. I didn’t go for it at the time, but I was reminded of it when I had a look at TotalBiscuit’s Top 10 games for 2014. He mentions this game in his top 10, and I remembered his WTF is video and wanting to try the game out for myself. Well, why not?

Most people reading this probably know the score, but if not, here’s how the game works: Enemies come running at you. When they get close enough, you press the X button to attack to the left and the A button to attack to the right. There’s absolutely nothing else to it. No movement, no special moves, nothing that involves anything other than pressing X to attack to the left, and A to attack to the right.

Simple? Yes, definitely. But it is so much fun.

Two buttons. This game is brilliant.

There’s a lot to be said for a game that only does one thing but does it very well. Mechanically, it’s

fantastic. As the attack animations happen instantly, timing is essential but there’s no faffing about waiting for a move to wind up. However, if you miss, you’re left vulnerable to attack for about a quarter of a second, which for a game of this speed is a very long time. The player character and enemies are stick men; an odd decision, but it fits the light-hearted nature of the game and keeps the attention where it needs to be: On the action.

Variety is provided by the different ways in which the levels and enemies are organised. Most levels are ‘Mob Levels,’ which simply require you to kill all the enemies. But there are some that require you to do it in a certain amount of time, smash a certain number of items, or do the level in black and white so that you can’t distinguish different enemies and there are even some levels that give you a Light Sword or Knunchaku. Some enemies require more than one hit – from potentially more than one direction – to take down, and others, called ‘Brawlers,’ cuts away from the main stage and requires you to press X and A multiple times in a sequence to beat them. Your character can pick up weapons, which increases your reach or gives you a ranged attack. Outside the levels there is a ‘map’ screen where you can choose what levels you play and activate the skills you acquire in certain levels. These ‘power-ups’ usually involve either being able to use weapons multiple times, or slowing the enemies down in some way. All this content from a game that uses two buttons.

But doesn’t it get old? Well, the whole game takes around 4-5 hours to complete, and you’re probably not going to get through it all in one sitting unless you’re determined to do so. But that’s not the point of this game. It would work very well on a Mobile device because it’s absolutely fine just to pick it up and play. There’s no exposition, no plot, no reason for you to be doing anything other than the fact that you are. The levels are generally over in about a minute, so you can do as much as you like depending on how much time you have. Finally, your score for the level depends on how many times you missed – the fewer, the better – and whether or not you took any damage yourself. You can always replay the levels and aim for a better score, if you’re interested in tackling the game this way.

As for me, I’ve got to the end of the game on the easiest difficulty. While I’ll probably come back to it at some point if I need something to fill half an hour, I will mark this game off as beaten. But if you’ve got £2 to spare, I recommend you check this game out. We could all do with some more games that don’t take themselves too seriously!

No Game New Year: Charlie Murder

Charlie Murder was another game I downloaded off Xbox Live Games with Gold. I started playing it because I knew I only had a few days before my girlfriend came up for the weekend, and usually once she’s gone I have the urge to play a different game. I have no idea why things work like that, but they do! So I decided to play what howlongtobeat.com told me was a relatively short game.

The band sound as good as they look...

I think the game is best described as a side-scrolling beat-em-up with RPG elements. You play one of the five members of the titular Charlie Murder, a hardcore punk band that was murdered by a rival death metal band Gore Quaffer. You can have anything up to four players involved with the game playing as the other members of the band, and the main differences between the characters seem to be their special attacks. The ‘singer,’ Charlie, screams blue murder, as does his backing ‘vocalist’[1] Kelley “Skelekitten” Skitten. Guitarist Lester Deth makes fire shoot out of his guitar, and bassist Tommy Homicide makes acid-coated buzz-saws run across the floor. Finally, the drummer ‘The Rexecutioner’ makes bits of his kit fly around and hit things. You have a basic set of attacks, which when done in the right order can develop in to combos, and you have to battle your way through to the “battle of the bands” through witches, ninjas, pirates and devils to name but a few.

I probably would have enjoyed this game a lot more had I not spent most of the summer playing Streets of Rage II, which is the best game ever created and as far as I’m concerned was as good as side-scrolling beat-em-ups ever were or ever will be. The most enjoyable aspect of the game for me was, of all things, the story. This very rarely happens with me, because by the time I usually get to the end of a game that prides itself on its story, (40 hour RPGs, anyone?) I find the scale has been blown right out of proportion. But the game's story really did have an affect on me...

Here’s what Wikipedia says about the plot (it’s about right):

The game's protagonist, Charlie Murder, is a member of a garage punk band of the same name. Charlie kicks one of the founding members, Paul, out of the band, and begins to experience chart-topping success creating music in a new genre with new bandmates. Under the name Lord Mortimer, Paul forms his own band, Gore Quaffer, and makes a pact with a demon, raising an army of demons and undead in order to destroy Charlie Murder.[2][3] Charlie and his band are killed at the beginning of the game, fight out of hell, and are reborn on Earth amidst an apocalypse caused by Lord Mortimer and his army.[5][8] In order to stop the apocalypse, Charlie Murder must defeat Gore Quaffer in a Battle of the Bands.[4]

During the game, a series of flashbacks detail the game's backstory. As Charlie and his new band mates experience success without Paul, the latter becomes increasingly upset, eventually vowing revenge. The flashbacks neither paint Charlie Murder in a wholly positive light, nor Paul in a wholly negative light.

Now, spool time back to what is at this point eight years before the ever-moving now. I was playing in a band called Jack’s Legacy. There were four of us in the band, for the most part we were all good friends and we had the potential to be the best band in the world. That sounds like I’m blowing my own trumpet, or casting aspersions on everything I’ve done since then – but we just were that good. Sadly, a few months before we really hit our stride, our drummer joined a different band, which was no better than Jack’s Legacy, but a lot more busy. The inevitable happened, and a conflict of interest came up with the band’s schedules. This and some of the most underhanded shit-stirring I’ve ever had to deal with on the part of the drummer resulted in some blazing rows, missed gigs and an almost uncontrollable amount of bitterness on my part. We went our separate ways, and I’ve never spoken to him since then. And as the drummer has the luxury of not having to give a shit about what I think since the band broke up in February the following year, I doubt I ever will.

Can you see how the story in this game resonated with me? It struck a little too close to home. While I certainly never made a diabolic pact and murdered the rival band, I did sometimes wonder for a couple of years afterwards what might happen if I were to turn up at one of their gigs and smash up their equipment. I never did that either, I would never actually do such a thing, but it gave me a moment of grim satisfaction to think about it… but seriously, there is a flashback cut-scene where Paul, devoid of a band, is playing an acoustic guitar at an open mic while the audience is more interested in Charlie Murder on the TV screens behind him. I’ve definitely been there.

 

The game is presented very well and I was interested to see how it all worked out in the end. I got the ‘bad’ ending, and I suspect it was because I missed one of a set of five collectables. (I defeated the appropriate boss which left behind an eye; I didn’t realise you had to grab it, and by the time I came back the boss was gone.) But I got to the end credits, which was really all I was looking for with this one. There are more achievement points available for multiple play-throughs, but here my problems with the game start to come out of the woodwork:

First, I don’t think the game is anywhere near as good as Streets of Rage in terms of its fighting. While there are different combos available, there’s very little – if any – combining different attacks to do a huge amount of damage. There are different enemy varieties but you rarely have to alter your tactics in order to beat them. There are points in the game where you have to think about what you’re doing – boss battles, harder sets of enemies – but only because it’s hard, not because there’s a specific tactic you need to beat it.

Second, the pacing of the game was all off in terms of its checkpoints. I’m glad you have unlimited lives, don’t get me wrong, but having to go back and play a good half an hour’s worth again because you died seems a little cheap.

The RPG elements basically involve experience points, loot and shopping. There is a huge variety of collectables, clothes and accessories you can use to enhance your character, but having to equip everything slowed the game right down for me when I’d rather have been kicking the tar out of something. The XP system is reminiscent of role-playing games, but since the enemies scale up with your levels, it doesn’t make much difference. It’s nowhere near as clever as it thinks it is, in that respect.

Finally, while the art style is excellent – and I will always praise a game for trying to do something other than gritty realism – it’s not really my taste. It all looked a bit… washy and grimy for my liking.

I might give it another go at some point, but for now, I’m pleased to have got to the end of the game so I can play something else, probably next week.

See you soon!

---

[1] Of course, I use the terms ‘singer’ and ‘vocalist’ loosely…

No Game New Year part 4: Progress with GTAV, an awful Blood Bowl competition and temptation...

Todays post may come across as a little negative but if it does it's not because of any ill feeling towards the challenge or anything like that, it's just that the balance of things that have happened this week won't necessarily come across too well when written down.

Temptation 1: Dust: Elysian Tail

So this week I had my first real temptation to jack it all in and buy a new game. You see, I've recently become a fan of TotalBiscuit, and in my quest to try and watch every single video the man has ever made (or at least, all of his WTF is... series,) I occasionally come across a game I want to try. This doesn't happen very often as TB is a PC gamer first and foremost, and I don't own a PC that even comes to within a country mile of being powerful enough to run most modern games, but sometimes he covers games that have come out on the Xbox360 as well, and depending on what he's said about the game, sometimes I feel compelled to give it a go.

The video I watched in this case was the one where he covers Dust: Elysian Tail. The game looked really good and I'd love to have a go with it. One of the great things about TotalBiscuit is that he often covers indie games. I love it when reviewers do this because there's tonnes of the things out there and I can't be bothered to trawl through all of them to find one that's any good. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to support indie developers. I think a lot of the time you get Triple-A games that have had huge development teams, massive production companies backing them and a large potential audience, and somewhere between the initial idea for the game and it's fourth or fifth iteration (I'm looking at you, Tony Hawks Pro Skater) they lose sight of what the game was trying to achieve in the first place. So if the indie developers have a small enough gig going on that they can maintain their vision for the game, AND make enough money to support themselves, I'm very happy to support them - if they come up with good games. If they don't, then I don't want to buy them, simple as that, so I'd like to thank TB and anybody else who covers indie games for being a part of the process of sorting out the good games from the bad ones.

By the way, just so we all know, I bought Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons on Total Biscuit's recommendation back in November, and Rad Raygun on the Happy Videogame Nerd's recommendation late last summer. I've finished both games so they probably won't come up again in this series. In the spirit of the challenge, I did not buy Dust: Elysian Tail, and I saved myself £9.99 (about $15). But I'll put that on the list of games I might buy next year, and see how it all looks then!

Grand Theft Auto Five

There isn't much I've got to say about this game in the rather major terms of storytelling and game mechanics that I've been talking about up until now, simply because I haven't had that much time with the game so there's not really all that much to say. The plot, as they say, is thickening, and I'm getting a lot more missions now that are conducive to the metaplot of the whole game now rather than 'filler.' It's a great, compelling story, but to be honest I'm at the point now where I'm looking forward to playing another game, and wondering what the next one is going to be. But I'm choosing to be hopeful that my victory over GTAV will be all the more sweeter for all of this.

That being said, there are still some aspects of the game that are fantastic and worth commenting on:

• For the longest time I didn't realise that you could reply to some of the emails that you are sent! I've already commented on how much Michaels issues resonate with me, and seeing the emails between Michael and his daughter Tracey were quite poignant for me because it reminds me that Michael's issues with his family aren't going away just because you're playing a game.
• I did, for the first time in a long time in any game, a bit of exploration that wasn't on the map, by which I mean there's no towns, missions, any reason for me to go there. I was, in fact, on my way to somewhere on the North side of the map (I forget the name of the town) and I tried to see if I could do it by driving an all-terrain vehicle up the mountain range blocking the most direct route. I didn't manage it in the end, but I'm determined to come back at some point and try again on a dirt bike. There's not many games in which I find entertainment by trying to traverse a difficult piece of ground! 
• Having now done several missions in a plane and/or helicopter, I have to say the flight mechanics of this game are superb and the best I've seen in any game in a long time. I don't really play air combat games anymore so this isn't saying much, but given that the controls for them the last time I tried (early 00's, at the latest) were either naff or overly complicated, it's nice to see that they're finally getting it right.

I don't remember playing much multiplayer, but the one time I did, I'm going to have to call out the douchebag who, on the Saving Ryan's Privates level, took it upon himself to climb into a tank, and destroy all the vehicles on the level so that nobody else could use them. Thanks for that, it was re-he-hearly good fun playing with you. Ass.

Blood Bowl

Oh dear Lord I've had a bad run of games this week. I took part in The Aerial Cup, and managed to lose every single game I played. This was partly due to my lack of tactical acumen, partly due to the fact that in any game where you can get screwed by the dice, you WILL get screwed by the dice, but mostly because the other teams were just better than me. Here's how it all went down:

I began by managing my team. The catcher Detlef Doolist went up to Level 3, and I gave him Diving Catch, which allows him to attempt a catch from both his square and all surrounding squares. Given how poorly this can turn out in games of Blood Bowl, I wanted to make sure he had as easy a time of this as possible. I also levelled up my other catcher, Dagonet Hupper, and gave him Sure Feet which allows him to re-roll Go For It rolls.

*Go For It: The last two possible squares of movement for any player are Go For It squares, where the player is expending a little more energy and taking a risk in making the manoeuvre. You have to make and pass a 'go for it' roll, or he will fall flat on his face and the turn will be over. I usually ignore it but twice last competition it was the difference between winning and losing so if I'm going to rely on it, I might as well give them a little something extra!*

Given that I rated my catchers and blitzers but didn't think much of my linemen, I signed a new player: Griswold the Angry. He was a Level 5 beast with Strip Ball (if you push the ball carrier he will drop the ball, whatever else happens) +1 armour and +1 strength, and sure hands. I also sacked Arnul the Beloved, as I had yet to use him and he wasn't doing me much good on the sidelines.

So, on to the games:

• Game 1 vs The gur'klash Murderers (Chaos) We got off to a promising start with my blitzer, Arnulf Ottman, benefitting from training and gaining +1 Strength for the match, but they had a Star Player, Grashnik Blackhoof (I think. My handwriting is bad to the point where even I can't read what I've written...) After a huge fight including several KOs from both sides and my other blitzer, Viscount Lutolf, suffering a  gouged eye, Chaos scored a well-deserved try. In the second half, the team busted through my appallingly leaky defence to score a second try. A good passing play from Arnulf Ottman to Detlef Doolist got the Nihilists a try, but it wasn't enough to save the game. No-Team Nihilists Lose, 1-2.
• Game 2 vs Da Spitgob Dribblerz (Goblins) There were no trys in the first half of the game, partly due to a scrappy set of passes from the goblins, and partly due to my linemen's complete inability to pick up a ball. In the second half, the goblins scored a point right before the end, we didn't manage to respond and Nihilists Lose, 1-0.
• Game 3 vs Noxious Nibblers (Skaven) Unfortunately for us, our training failed and the recently levelled-up Dagonet couldn't play. And if that wasn't bad enough, a pitch invasion knackered most of my team before the starting whistle had blown. The gutter runners got an early point - Christ, the Skaven are fast! We tried for a point near the end of the first half but the blitzer failed his Go For It roll. In the second half, the Skaven scored another easy, slippery try. Serange the Storyteller got in a late point, but it was purely to improve his stats as it was too little too late for his team. Nihilists lose, 2-1. Serange and Jek the Anti levelled up, and Block was given as a skill to both of them as this would in theory sort out a lot of what was going wrong with the dice.

Because of the way the competitions at this level work, we weren't out of the runnings yet, though our sponsors were not going to be happy:

• Playoffs: Noxious Nibblers This game got off to an absolutely appalling start when my throwers shoved a gutter runner into a clear path to the goal! They snuck another one in towards the end due to a mis-placed tackled. After one of my linemen narrowly escaped death, the gutter runners scored again. Enan the Applauder got one in after a huge fight, but with Skaven scoring again in the dying moments, we never had a chance. Nihilists Lose, 4-1.

However, Arne Rolf, one of my throwers, did win Best Passer of the game, so it can't be all that bad, can it? Well, let's hope it gets better for next time...